Aspects of love are everywhere especially during these peak times of youth in high school. The big question is, can relationships that start in high school last over time?
Love is a powerful emotion as it is what guides everyone through their lives. It occurs naturally and unexpectedly, the beauty is that it can truly be found everywhere. However, love is not always an eternal feeling–it has its challenges and obstacles.
“The challenges honestly I believe are being able to fully 100% trust someone with being your natural complete vulnerable self” said Alyssa Carlo, a senior at John Dewey High School. “When you’re with someone especially for a prolonged period of time you gradually become more and more comfortable and vulnerable with them and that’s a very scary thing.
“I think it’s important to understand that your relationship will not always be perfect, nothing in life is perfect and people go through things and change all the time but that depends on if your partner is growing and changing alongside you,” Carlo added. “I think it is rare for high school relationships to last, but you could say so for practically any relationship, not every couple is meant to be together and that’s completely okay but I truly believe that with enough effort, communication, and growth that it can work out”.
Many individuals start dating in high school, and high school marks a crucial time period where teenagers learn and grow as a person. It is what shapes one’s character amidst growing up, thus relationships are bound to have their imperfections. However, is the cliche “teenage love story” worth it?
“Honestly I would say that it’s a great experience to have in life, especially as a teenager learning to be more independent and in tune with your emotions,” Carlo said. “Obviously most people say that it’s not worth it in the end but even so I think the experience of being in one in itself is truly an amazing thing because everyone should be able to experience loving someone”.
A differing opinion by a student who has never been in a relationship before is shared.
“No, honestly no, to be honest with you” said Logan Shehata, a senior at John Dewey High School. “Like that’s not to diss anyone who is in a relationship right now or to make my friends feel bad about their relationships.
“But I do think as of right now, we’re still in such a developmental stage in life that I feel like we can just grow,” Shehata added. “And if you’re in a relationship, I feel like that can kind of hinder your growth”.
There are multiple perspectives when it comes to the topic of relationships lasting in high school. Students have their own perspective–solely because they are still young students who have yet to experience life after high school. What about a perspective through an adult’s eyes?
“I entered a relationship right before I graduated high school actually” said Mr. McGowan, a biology teacher at John Dewey High School. “I think that especially for a 17 year old boy, you’re so far from your adult self, that you’re just not who you are yet. I think I was so far away from growing and not to say she wasn’t, but I hadn’t really discovered who I was yet”.
Relationships are not always bound to work out because they have yet to navigate the numerous phenomenons in the world.
“Just to paint the full story, I went to a school in Central New York and we stayed together through my freshman year in college,” McGowan said. “She actually committed to go to a university close by, so that we could be together.
“And her mom actually, like at the time, was like, ‘This is not a good idea. You guys should break up’. Looking back it made perfect sense, and it was actually really good advice, but at the time we were like so close-minded toward it,” McGowan added. “But what she meant was like needing that freedom and that chance to grow. What she said was like, ‘if you guys were truly meant for each other, you’ll come back together’”.
Although relationships can last after high school, there are still more problems than just being able to stay together through all 4 years. There is also the reality that awaits after high school–navigating the college situation that raises uncertainty for many couples.
“I know people who have made long distance relationships work, and I know people who weren’t able to make it work,” McGowan said. “But both of them I think would admit long distance wasn’t easy.
“Like there’s that really cliché saying, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’, it sounds nice but what I’ve seen is that it creates a lot of jealousy, uncertainty, and insecurity,” McGowan added. “When you love someone you want to feel their love and I think that’s hard to manage when you can”.
“If only one person wants to be together, you won’t stay together” said Ms. Grace, a biology teacher at John Dewey High School. “I think that could be really hard to gauge when you’re in high school because it’s like your first experience with romantic love. In high school, you have such little practice communicating that you’re not sure if what you’re seeing is normal, you’re not sure if you’re reading the other person correctly”.
What advice could be given to current high school sweethearts who want to stay together long-term?
“You’re not missing out on anything if you don’t date in high school” Grace said. “One would say it’s the worst idea, but one would say it taught me a lot. Get your heart broken every time you can, being loved is always worth it”.
“If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Don’t force it to work” McGowan said. “Just be who you are and if the person you love is who you think they are, then it’ll work out. And there’s nothing wrong with it not working out”.
What could current couples in the school say about high school relationships lasting over time?
“I don’t know enough high school sweethearts to base my answer off of but if I apply this to my own relationship, I think most people get with someone too quickly and base all their knowledge on how that person is throughout the time they’ve known them,” Carlo said. “You have to be prepared for the great stuff, the good, the bad, and the worst of the worst because anything can happen in life.
“I do have faith but honestly I think I may be biased because it is my relationship,” Carlo added. “Like I said, everyone wants to have faith that their relationship is going to last, but based on how we handle certain situations I do genuinely have faith that Ismael is my person”.
“Well I guess if there’s one thing I would add on that obviously me and Alyssa’s relationship isn’t always perfect from what other people make it seem to be most of the time” said Ismael Casarez, a student at John Dewey High School. “We definitely aren’t toxic to each other, we’re both mature young teens who fell in love when we weren’t looking for it.
“To me at least, that’s the best kind of love especially for high school sweethearts,” Casarez added. “They do last most of the time and I do have faith ours will last”.
